I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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