Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
