He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
