I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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