i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I party with great urgency now.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
