doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
