come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
