We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
