I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
