Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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