can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
