you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
