I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
