I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
