Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
where are you?
Hypothermia
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
