He kissed a someone with a penis
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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