i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
