You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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