I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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