I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
