we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
