You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
