You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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