STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
