I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
