so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
