the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Randomize
