goodnight i made you a song goodbye
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
