it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
