Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
