are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
