Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
