Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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