3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
