In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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