Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
