what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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