I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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