lets start a swedish sibling band together
i will never coherently bang her
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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