..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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