what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
