so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
