Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
