Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
