Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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