I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
