Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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