Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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