so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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