Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Randomize
