I wannas sexs uuuuu
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
